


10 Things Clint Loves About Phil Coulson

by misbegotten



Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Clint likes funny t-shirts, Cooking is sexy, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-08
Updated: 2012-03-08
Packaged: 2017-11-01 16:10:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/358748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misbegotten/pseuds/misbegotten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>11. Clint can feel Phil smiling down a comm line, even when he's telling Barton to shut up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	10 Things Clint Loves About Phil Coulson

1\. Phil Coulson is not, and never has been, a morning person. Nonetheless, years of military training have instilled in him an innate sense of when the alarm is about to go off at 5 am; he routinely flips the switch on the clock so Clint can have another hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Or interrupted sleep, if Clint is lucky.

"Did you brush your teeth just so you could suck my dick?" Clint asks, amused. Phil grins, teeth gleaming white.

Phil may not be a morning person, but he has an excellent morning routine.

*

2\. Phil plays the Unassuming Suit to a tee, which makes it all the more unforgettable when he does something kickass in the field, like take down two HYDRA agents with the same bullet. Clint likes to pretend it's the adrenaline that gives him a hard on, but it's just Phil being Phil, and Clint can't wait to get him home and peel off the unassuming suit.

Of course, Phil will demand that Clint actually hang up said suit before ravishing him, but that's endearing too.

*

3\. Phil isn't fazed by the shit that the Avengers get caught up in. Monsters from another dimension? That requires a Form 14-A. Stark tech accidentally singed the Pentagon? 23-C and another threat to annex JARVIS (who, it seems, has a soft spot for Phil anyway. They're both sticklers for details.). Clint jumping off a building just to make a shot?

Well, Phil is a little fazed there.

"I knew Thor would catch me."

"You jumped off a fucking building."

"He's got the hammer thing, and made a big tornado doohickey to break my fall."

"You jumped off a fucking building." Phil runs a hand over his face. "This is why I'm losing hair, Clint."

"I love you too."

*

4\. Phil asks Clint to move in on a Friday, so there would be a cooling off period over the weekend if Clint says no. Phil is considerate that way. They spend Saturday packing Clint's meager belongings into a company SUV, and Sunday fucking in Phil's queen-size bed. Phil rims the hell out of him, leaving Clint weak-kneed and sobbing with want.

When they move into the Avengers mansion, upgrading to a king-size bed, Phil does the same damned thing. He calls it a commemorative event.

*

5\. Every year on April 13, Phil climbs into a bottle of scotch and gets quietly and somberly shitfaced. Fury always gives Phil the day off. Clint doesn't ask, just matches him drink for drink. Someday, Phil will tell him. In the meantime, he's entitled to a few secrets.

*

6\. Phil can cook. Most of the Avengers can't. Tony's never picked up a cooking utensil in his life. Natasha just sniffs disdainfully. Steve looks charmingly befuddled, Thor generally suggests slaying a beast and roasting it, and Bruce only makes tofu and brown rice concoctions. Clint has picked up a few cooking skills here and there, but Phil can _cook_. Meatloaf, spaghetti (with real sauce), pizza, and chili are all in his repertoire. He is the master of the grill as well. Phil's steak makes Clint weep it's so tender and juicy.

The first time Tony calls Phil "Mrs. Barton" behind his back, Clint puts a laxative in Stark's protein shake.

*

7\. Phil knows that junior agents tend to think he's got a cake walk, glorified babysitting duty. Only Clint unerringly picks out the underlying tension in Phil's voice over the comm when they're called out to battle. Clint knows it's not just him, but all of the Avengers -- even Tony goddamn Stark -- that have Phil on edge, wondering if this will be the time one of them doesn't come back.

After a particularly hard day, Phil climbs in the shower with Clint, who is scraping dried blood out from under his fingernails. Phil's hand falls on his hip, bruising, as he pushes into Clint using just soap and desperation as lubricant. Clint puts one hand over Phil's, uses the other to brace them both against the tiled shower wall, and just bends into it. Phil fucks him hard, as if he can keep Clint on this earth by sheer willpower, and maybe he can.

Maybe Clint just loves that he tries.

*

8\. Phil wears jeans on the weekends, and subdued polo shirts. He buys Clint funny t-shirts, though -- Runs with Scissors, the latest one says -- because he knows Clint prefers them.

Phil buys them a little tight because _he_ prefers them.

*

9\. Phil drives like he does everything else, with ruthless efficiency. Cars love him, they purr and groan against the asphalt like well-fed cats. Clint likes it best when they borrow one of Tony's convertibles and zoom down the highway. The wind whips in his hair, his wraparound sunglasses barely cutting the brilliant edge of sunlight streaming through the windshield. He feels like they're flying, like he's back in the circus watching the trapeze artists swing.

Later, on a secluded beach, Phil works his hand into Clint's jeans and jacks him off slowly, the sun settling over them as gentle as a lover's kiss. Clint still feels like he's flying.

*

10\. Phil asks Clint if he wants to get married on a Monday, obviously feeling optimistic.

"Do we need a piece of paper?" Clint asks, crunching his way through a bowl of corn flakes. He steals a sip of Phil's coffee while Phil turns a page of the newspaper.

"It would make paperwork easier. Life insurance, that sort of stuff." Phil is a man of details, always. And so, Clint agrees.

Phil gives Clint his dogtags, in lieu of a ring. Clint gives Phil a gold ring with his name inscribed on the inside, and then blows him in the bathroom at the courthouse.

They're both sentimental, in their own way.


End file.
